Nancy Batens

Part of this article has been published in 2018 but … it’s still relevant, hence… version 2.0

More and more people are dealing with burn-out. I think almost everybody knows somebody who had to deal with it, be it a colleague, a friend or a family member. People are stressed, don’t stop and… get into trouble.

Resilience is supposed to be the answer. But what does resilience mean? A common definition is: “Resilience is the ability to recover from setbacks, adapt well to change, and keep going in the face of adversity”.

I believe it’s important to be resilient, we will continuously have to deal with possible stressful situations. I also believe you can ‘train your resilience muscle’, I even offer training and coaching in it AND… I find it important to add that even when you are very resilient, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are not vulnerable…

Also… are you really as resilient as you think?

I have been a trainer in stress management since 2005. I’ve attended several courses, read many books but… most importantly: I always tried to put everything into practice, to ‘walk my talk’. And I am still convinced that that is the reason why I could ‘cope’ for so long. Whenever I experienced a stressful situation, I knew what to do: I knew how to work on my perception (and beliefs), I tried to take care of my buffer and body and I learned how to make the right choices (#YAHAC).

But there was this (almost) constant fatigue in the background: even when I went to bed early, I was eating well, I mediated and… I didn’t feel like I was ‘stressed’…

And at the end of 2015, things went wrong. Why?

To put it simply: batteries need to be charged. It turned out that mine wasn’t charging. Carrying on on an empty battery requires a lot of energy of the body: it will go into a stress reaction (even though you don’t necessarily notice this). And if this goes one for months, or even years… it’s bound to end badly… As I could experience myself.

Today I would like to talk about 2 tools that can measure whether or not your battery is recharging sufficiently.

The first tool is the Firstbeat Life

What is it? You wear a small device for 3 days and 3 nights (the Bodyguard) which measures your heart rate variability. (Ideally 2 working days and 1 weekend day).

While you are wearing it, you can categorise your activities on your smartphone. What are you  doing when (sleeping, working, eating, reading, watching television, …)? This will help you to make the most out of the report.

The Bodyguard is connected to an app (monthly subscription) where you can see the objective data visually represented to show your stress and recuperation moments. Once the assessment is finished, you get even more data. If you want, you can also get an individual feedback session (online) of 30 minutes (=definitely recommend it!).

The first report was a real eye-opener to me. The colours clearly show when you are in your ‘red’ or ‘green’ zone and … believe me, this does not always correspond to what you think…

When you see it on your screen (or on paper), and match it with your agenda, it becomes very clear when you are using energy and when you are charging your batteries.  Of course, not all days are the same, therefore they look also at a total of 3 days. How is your ‘battery’ doing after 3 days: does it keep on charging or is it more ’empty’ at the end than when you got started (despite the 3 nights…).

Would you like to know more about this? Make sure to watch the video (on Youtube): I show you the device and walk you step by step through some of my data (the video takes 20′).

Would you like to try it out yourself? Check it out here.

Why do I recommend it? You get a clear, objective report on how resilient your current lifestyle is. I repeat: my first report did surprise me but I also learned a lot. And by implementing some changes, the results got better.

Just to be clear: the result could also be a positive surprise. A client noticed that she ‘recuperates’ while she’s doing coaching sessions… Isn’t that wonderful? Another client was worried because she wasn’t sleeping very well. Apparently her recuperation was excellent. It was a big relief!

The second tool is my Garmin smartwatch

Maybe you think the Firstbeat Life is a bit complicated and maybe you already have a Garmin smartwatch.. That’s good news: even the reasonably basic models have a similar software (mine costs +/- 100 EUR)

The smartwatch can track a lot of things but I am mostly interested in the ‘Body Battery’. Again it shows you very visually (and in real-time) if you are using energy or recharging the battery. I also made a video for these results (same days).

Unlike with the Firstbeat life, you can’t add extra information, and … the data are a little less precise because you wear the smartwatch on your wrist (and the bodyguard closer to your heart).

Of course there are also other tools, but I haven’t tested them as thoroughly as these 2. But if you already have something that works for you, that’s great!

Why can I not stop talking about this? 

It is absolutely fine to be very active (which will use a lot of energy), as long as the battery will recharge. Once it doesn’t, you have a problem.

When your battery doesn’t recharge, your body doesn’t recover and this might eventually lead to burn-out.

Stress is everywhere. Stress is necessary. But too much stress can have serious consequences.

Some people will know things can go wrong and … if they are smart, they will look for help.

Others might think they have everything under control, or they don’t have time to do something about it, or … they are ‘strong’, nothing can happen to them.

It can happen to everyone. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt…

You CAN measure it. If you don’t measure it, you can’t manage it. So, … what are you waiting for?  #YAHAC

Would you like to try it out for yourself, click here.

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Looking forward to hearing from you!

It is September 1 today. And often this date is linked to ‘back to school’. Some kind of a ‘new start’.

A bit like January 1. But you could also see it as a ‘trial run’ …

I like that.

Much less stress! ;-D

 

I’m going back to school as well. As from tomorrow, the corporate trainings are starting again.

I’m looking forward to it.

Both the trainings as such (talking about things I feel passionate about… and hopefully inspiring people while doing so…) but also the fact that I will be work with groups again. I quite like groups. It’s a different type of energy and interaction.

But before I say goodbye to this summer, I’d like to take a moment to pause and decide what I would like to take with me and… what I’d like to leave behind.

What did I like / is good for me and therefore I want more of it?

I really enjoyed my 5 days in Genoa. Did you know that, many years ago, I have lived in Italy for a while? I noticed it had been far too long. I missed it. And indeed, once I arrived, it really felt like being ‘home’ again (even though I had never been to Genoa).
And while it might be a bit difficult to plan this on a regular basis, I could try and find out which elements I would also like to incorporate into my life in Belgium.

• Walking: I used to walk much more. During covid I walked every day. I want to go back to (more or less) 10000 steps a day. It feels good. Despite the fact that it was very hot, I walked a LOT in Italy.
• Apart from the ‘physical’ aspect of the 10000 steps, I also love the ‘wandering around’ … walk around, follow my eyes, intuition and see where it takes me. Discovering things… savouring them… I did a lot of that in Genoa and … I could also do some of this here.
• And sometimes it was just too hot. Or I was tired. Then I would read on my bed, for hours… During the ‘school’ year I mostly read books for work and less for entertainment. Just because I enjoy reading. This too could change…

Do you see where I’m going with this? These are just some examples. There  are more. I just want to inspire you.

And what would I like to do less of or differently?

I’ve realised that I got way behind on admin and … cleaning… Part of the reason was that the period before the summer had been really busy. At moments like that it’s very important to me to take good care of myself, to be able to keep going. On the other hand, I have to admit I can always come up with 1 or 2 things I’d rather do than … admin and cleaning… ;-D
That means that part of the ‘holidays’ was spent on that too.

I’d like to change this.

What are my options?

• Work less so I have more time for admin and cleaning… This being said, I think my job will always be a bit ‘seasonal’.
• I could delegate… but I’d rather not do that at the moment.
• I could start the habit of doing small chores on a regular basis, before they all pile up and seem totally out of control.

I’m going for the last option. And it will probably be a combination of dropping some bad habits and … implement some new ones.

Step by step.

 

What about you?

What would you like to take with you and what would you like to leave behind?

I invite you to take some time to think about it. And then pick something (if that feels right for you).

My advice would be not to start to big… It’s a trial run, remember?

Research has shown that you will more likely stick to changes when they are small. No need to be too ambitious.

What would you like to do on a daily (or weekly) basis, because you really enjoyed it during the summer?

And what would you like to do less off? Or more (my example of the chores) so that the next holiday will be even more of a holiday?

One step closer to the life you really want to live!

Start small, you can always make it bigger or add things later.

#youalwayshaveachoice #YAHAC

Good luck!

PS: Personally I will be using ‘Atomic habits’ from James Clear. You can look him up on Youtube. Or would you like me to do a webinar/workshop on the topic? Do let me know!

In the last blog, I already mentioned ‘red’ and ‘green’, our batteries and our barometer.

‘From red to green’ has really become my ‘thing’ (have you noticed by any chance? ;-D) and I often talk about it. It seems to be something universal. People can relate and … they want to work on it.

Let me share with you one of my ‘sources’, which confirmed what I was already thinking myself.

In one of the trainings I give as a subcontractor in a big international organisation, we mention the TedTalk from Jim Tamm.

He starts with a study about chickens: red zone chickens and green zone chickens.

Green zone chickens are the collaborative chickens: they get along well, they are nice to each other, there are no star performers in the group.

In the red zone group, there are some star performers (laying more eggs), but they are also more aggressive, and they are causing damage: to the environment and to each other.

They wanted to find out if it was possible to breed collaborative instincts into chickens, and if so, what would be the impact of that on their egg production?

The two groups of chickens were followed for a year (=5 generations) and this was the result:

The green zone chickens were healthy and productive. And the production of eggs increased by 260% that year!

The red zone chickens were either dead (more than half of them had been pecked to death by their colleagues…), or in very bad shape…

 Jim Tamm made the link with people and organisations…

He had been a judge for 25 years and he had noticed that people often behaved ‘red’.
Conflicts escalated, people were not collaborating, mostly because they didn’t have the right tools to do so.
He did a lot of research and started to teach, and he realised that ‘nothing will help you become more effective at resolving conflict and building collaboration more than better managing your own defensiveness.’

What is his premise?

‘When we get defensive, we are not defending ourselves from another person. We are defending ourselves from fears inside of us that we don’t want to feel.’

Interesting…

And what are these fears?

‘Fears about our own significance, our competence and our likeability.’

This was quite the eye-opener for me.

Just imagine:
You’ve just given a presentation at work, and somebody asks you a question.

When you are calm and confident, you will answer the question and that’s it.

But what if you were already a bit nervous. It might be possible that you are afraid (deep inside, it often happens at a subconscious level and very fast) that they won’t think you are smart enough, or that you are not the right fit for the job. This might trigger you and you will get defensive!

Can you relate?

Defensive is ‘red’ and when we react in a ‘red’ way, we are not at our best behaviour… We are in the action-reaction mode… and our defensive behaviour will also trigger their defensive behaviour…  And before we know it, we have a conflict.

What can we do about this? Jim describes some steps and I add some extra tips:

• Acknowledge to yourself that you are getting defensive. Personally, I think mindfulness can help to become more aware of your thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
• Do whatever you can to slow down your physiology (=go back to green) – breathing techniques can help, moving around (if possible). We’ve discussed this before, and I’ll definitely come back to this.
• Pay attention to your self-talk – often it’s our own thoughts that cause all the stress and make things worse. Have you already done the free training ‘Don’t believe everything you think!’. It gives you the tools do deal with this.
• Create an action step that is directly related to whatever your sign of defensiveness is – if you tend to raise your voice, try and keep it low… – I know, self-management is going to be key here!
• Start over: you will probably need this again…

 

What do you think? Interesting?

When I first saw the video, it confirmed a couple of things, and I became even more aware.

I recognize my ‘red behaviour’ more quickly and I try to

• Go back to green
• Understand why I’m so triggered (which fear do I not want to feel?) and … can I work on this in order not to be so easily triggered in the future?

I will definitely come back to this. If you have more questions, do let me know. It helps me to create more content.

If this is something you also want to get better at, make sure you are signed up for my tips and tricks.

 

#fromredtogreen
#energymanagement
#youalwayshaveachoice
#YAHAC